Can Comparing Yourself To Others Be Good For You?
The answer to this is a resounding “Yes” if you do this in the right way. What most people tend to do is compare themselves to others as some form of validation for themselves or because of envy or some other negative emotion.
The secret to comparing yourself to others for your benefit is to do it on the premise that you want to improve yourself. You want to achieve a specific goal and another person has already achieved this goal so you can learn from them and then use similar strategies in your own life.
You must have the right Intent
Having the right intent for comparing yourself to another person is critical. What we do not recommend you do is compare yourself to someone else that you know is not as good as you in a specific area so that you can give your ego a boost. Avoid this kind of “self validation”.
You may get a temporary ego boost from a self validation comparison but this can backfire on you very badly. If you don’t know the person that you are comparing to very well then you have no idea what they are capable of. If you challenge them and they end up being better than you at your specialty then this can destroy your self esteem.
Think about why you want to make the comparison. Let’s say that you want to be a successful business manager and there is a manager in your office who always seems to make the right decisions and has the level of confidence that you want to achieve.
You want to find out how they got to their position and how they maintain their confidence. This is specific intent and you are in the right frame of mind to make the comparison. You are not jealous that this person is a manager and you are not. It is all about learning from the person so that you can improve your life.
Consume other relevant information
The person in your office is not the only good business manager out there. Many have written books and some have their own blog. These days it is easier than it ever has been before to get the information that you need.
Once you have decided that you want to be a top notch business manager consume everything that you can about the subject and keep looking for new material. Modeling the business manager you know is a good step forward but you can always do more.
If you are not a fan of reading then go to YouTube and find relevant videos there. You will be sure to find what you are looking for. Also look for forums on your subject and join them and participate. Ask questions and most people will be happy to help.
Be careful of your Self View
You have a view about yourself that you formed over many years. This self view tells you that you things like you are smart, good looking, talented and so on. We all need this self view because it defines how you see the world around you and helps you to figure everything out.
The problem is that if you believe something in your self view and something challenges this then there is conflict. So if you believe that you know a lot about business and someone tells you that you need to learn more about business then this is difficult to take. Relax your self view and take on board any constructive criticisms.
PLEASE FEEL FREE TO CONTACT ME
Please contact Kimberley if you have any questions or to make an initial CONSULTATION.
Face To Face sessions are by appointment only. Appointments are available 6 days a week and also in the evenings at our discreet premises in Mellieha, Sliema & Naxxar in Malta. Or online by skype or Zoom
Please note for sessions in Naxxar clients have access to the pool and a towel after and before their sessions.
For a list of problems I may be able to help you with please click here
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Kim on TVM fitAM
