The Psychology Of Motivation

Lack of focus kills your motivation

It’s very important to understand if you are trying to achieve anything with your life, that you have it you know. You really do. I know this sounds like a pep talk, but it isn’t. It’s just a statement of fact. All of us are capable of achieving something called “a state of flow.”

You may not label it as such, but you have achieved at least at some point in your life, a mental and emotional state where things come easily. I’m not talking about you just sitting back and thinking that you have an easy life and that you have figured everything out. No, I am not talking about that. This is not something that just happens in your head. This is actually real. How come?

Well, it actually impacts your behaviour. When you achieve a state of flow, you work in such a way that things become quick, easy and effortless. Things just fall into place and it seems like regardless of what you do, when you make a move, things happen. Wouldn’t it be awesome if you were able to do this with almost everything in your life?

Well, I can tell you that habitually successful people trigger a state of flow in almost everything they do. That is why they are able to achieve what they are able to do. For the rest of humanity, people have to struggle with the proper motivations to get that state of flow. In fact, a lot of people are really clueless about this mental and emotional state.

This really is too bad because we all have it in us and the only way to trigger this state is motivation. Motivation enables you to keep doing despite the fact that there are people around you telling you that it cannot be done. Motivation is what you need to keep pushing when it seems that the only thing you are able to achieve is failure, disappointment and heartbreak.

Motivation is crucial to achieving that state of flow. Once you get there, you can trigger a state of momentum where you are able to maintain that state for an extended period time. However, you have to get there first and this means motivation.

The problem is, most people allow the small stuff of life, like deadlines, lots of duties, responsibilities and obligations that seem to pop out of nowhere, to kill their focus. If you don’t have focus, it kills your motivation because you’re basically just scatter brained. You’re basically trying to put Band-Aids on everything trying to prevent some sort of crisis.

That is what you’re doing. You’re not looking at the big things in life. You’re not allowing yourself to be driven forward by your focus in life. You’re not doing any of that. Instead, you’re just trying to focus on the small things. You’re too obsessed about the things right in front of your nose that you lose focus.

You put in all this time, effort and energy only to have very little to show it. You’re basically just living on a day to day basis. If you’re sick and tired of this, click here to figure out how to achieve unstoppable motivation.

PLEASE FEEL FREE TO CONTACT ME 

Please contact Kimberley if you have any questions or to make an initial CONSULTATION.  
 
Face To Face  sessions are by appointment only. Appointments are available 6 days a week and also in the evenings at our discreet premises in Mellieha, Sliema & Naxxar in Malta. Or online by skype or Zoom 

Please note for sessions in Naxxar clients have access to the pool and a towel after and before their sessions. 
For a list of problems I may be able to help you with please click here 
 
To Arrange YOUR INITIAL SESSION Please contact Kimberley by Whatsapp or Phone on 00356 99355901.

Kimberley Appearing on TVM FITam

Love Addiction, Approval Addiction

In my experience as a counsellor & Hypnotherapist for 35 years, I have found that love addiction and approval addiction are far more prevalent than any other substance or process addictions. We live in a love-addicted, approval-addicted society.

What does it mean to be love/approval addicted? Below is a checklist for you to see if you are addicted to love and/or approval. Believing any of these may indicate love or approval addiction.

I believe that:

* My happiness and wellbeing are depended upon getting love from another person.

* My adequacy, lovability, and feelings of self-worth and self-esteem come from others liking me and approving of me.

* Others disapproval or rejection mean that I’m not good enough.

* I can’t make myself happy.

* I can’t make myself as happy as someone else can.

* My best feelings come from outside myself, from how other people or a particular other person sees me and treats me.

* Others are responsible for my feelings. Therefore, if someone cares about me, he or she will never do anything that hurts or upsets me.

* I can’t be alone. I feel like I’ll die if I’m alone.

* When I’m hurt or upset, it’s someone else’s fault.

* It’s up to other people to make me feel good about myself by approving of me.

* I’m not responsible for my feelings. Other people make me feel happy, sad, angry, frustrated, shut down, or depressed. When I’m angry, someone makes me feel that way and is responsible for fixing my feelings.

* I’m not responsible for my behaviour. Other people make me yell, act crazy, get sick, laugh, cry, get violent, leave, or fail.

* Others are selfish if they do what they want instead of what I want or need.

* If I’m not connected to someone, I will die.

* I can’t handle my pain, especially the pain of disapproval, rejection, abandonment, the pain of being shut out - the pain of isolation and loneliness.

Living as a love or approval addict is a very hard way to live. You have to constantly make sure you say the right thing, do the right, and look right in order to get the needed love and approval. Your feelings are on a roller coaster – from feeling the wonderful feelings that come from getting your love or approval “fix” to feeling the despair that comes when your “supply” – the source of your love and approval - shuts down, gets angry or judgmental, or goes away.

THE UNDERLYING CAUSE OF LOVE AND APPROVAL ADDICTION

Love and approval addiction is rooted in self-abandonment. Imagine the feeling part of you as a child – your inner child. When you are love or approval addicted, you have handed your inner child away for adoption.

Instead of learning to take responsibility for your own happiness by loving and approving of yourself, you have handed your inner child away to others for love and approval – making others responsible for your feelings. This inner self-abandonment will always cause the deep pain of low self-worth, making you dependent upon others for your sense of worth.

The sad thing about all of this is that love is the most abundant thing in the universe. We live in a sea of love – it is always within us and all around us. It is our Source. When you learn to open to re connect with your inner child you become filled with love, with peace, with joy. The empty place within that yearns to be filled becomes so filled with love that it overflows to others. You find yourself desiring to give love rather than always trying to get it.

As long as you make others your Source, you will not find the love, peace and joy that you seek. By learning and practicing the Inner Child Bonding process that I teach, you can learn to fill yourself with love and heal your love and approval addictions.

Are you love or approval addicted? The above checklist will help you to determine your level of love or approval addiction.

If You feel that this is you and would like to talk then;

PLEASE FEEL FREE TO CONTACT ME 

Please contact Kimberley if you have any questions or to make an initial CONSULTATION.  
 
Face To Face  sessions are by appointment only. Appointments are available 6 days a week and also in the evenings at our discreet premises in Mellieha, Sliema & Naxxar in Malta. Or online by skype or Zoom 

Please note for sessions in Naxxar clients have access to the pool and a towel after and before their sessions. 
For a list of problems I may be able to help you with please click here 
 
To Arrange YOUR INITIAL SESSION Please contact Kimberley by Whatsapp or Phone on 00356 99355901.

Kimberley on TVM - FitAM

Steps for Letting Go of Fear and Trusting More

Don’t let fear stop you from achieving everything you want out of life. Everything that you do and the choices that you make each day determines who you are and the experiences you get from life. If you make these decisions out of fear, you will likely make poor decisions. The following seven steps will help you trust yourself more and stop letting fear take over your life:  

Step 1: Start  

Take a moment to make the commitment to let go of your fears and insecurities. Write your promise down for future reference. Once you do that, create a plan of action for yourself. Don’t expect yourself to just change when overwhelming moments arise. Instead, use your action plan to help you make changes.  

Step 2: Forgive Yourself  

As a living and breathing normal human, you are always going to make mistakes. In fact, if you don’t, you likely won’t grow or learn much as a person. Be prepared for these moments, and give yourself time to forgive yourself. Truly forgive yourself and know that this is only normal and a basic function in life.  

Step 3: Learn to Love & Believe in Yourself  

Actively do things to discover your likes and dislikes to learn who you are. The more you understand yourself, the more you can learn to love yourself and truly believe that you can accomplish anything.  

Step 4: Listen More  

Listen to yourself, but most importantly, to those around you. Make sure you are still taking the time to notice information people give and show you.  

Step 5: Feel More Even Fear  

In other words, go with the flow. Even when you are scared, if your life or health isn’t in jeopardy, it is essential to feel the emotions to overcome the fear. Getting beyond your comfort zone allows you to build and grow and understand yourself fully. You will see it isn’t so scary once you do it, too, and will eventually develop a full understanding of oneself and feel accomplished.  

Step 6: Understand Your Feelings  

If you find yourself holding back and feeling fear, truly figure out the parts that make you feel this way. If its meeting new people, what about that makes you scared. Is it because they won’t like you or judge you? What are the consequences, and isn’t all that big of a deal if you take the time to think about it? You just might see that ultimately the consequences are worth the risk.  

Step 7: Only Control What You Know, Not the Unknown  

Unfortunately, predicting the future isn’t possible. However, you can set up good habits or do things that lead you to success. While there is no sure-fire way to determine that everything you do will be right. One day, this may be challenged; however, that is the beauty of life. Stop wasting your time thinking about what may or may not happen. Focus on the now. You only have this very moment, so use it wisely.  

If you keep following these seven steps and one day, you will see how much easier life can truly be just by simply letting go and trusting yourself.

PLEASE FEEL FREE TO CONTACT ME 

Please contact Kimberley if you have any questions or to make an initial CONSULTATION.  
 
Face To Face  sessions are by appointment only. Appointments are available 6 days a week and also in the evenings at our discreet premises in Mellieha, Sliema & Naxxar in Malta. Or online by skype or Zoom 

Please note for sessions in Naxxar clients have access to the pool and a towel after and before their sessions. 
For a list of problems I may be able to help you with please click here 
 
To Arrange YOUR INITIAL SESSION Please contact Kimberley by Whatsapp or Phone on 00356 99355901.

Kimberley on TVM - FitAM

Self Development

Self Improvement Topics This Month….

• Learning to Cooperate 

• Cultivating Acceptance 

• Taking a Stand 

• Learning to Be Happy 

• Facing Your Fears 

1. Leaders must lead by example for others to cooperate. 

2. Give individuals and groups elements needed to work with others. 

3. Make cooperating with others fun and easy. 

4. Highlight cooperation as the foundation of your success. 

5. Encourage calm communications to build better cooperation. 

6. Make sure mutual respect is your top priority. 

7. Accept yourself as you are, the good, the bad, and the mediocre. 

8. Instead of focusing on the differences, focus on the similarities. 

9. Refuse to judge yourself or others. 

10. Learn to understand yourself and others better. 

11. Ask yourself if you have ever made a poor decision. 

12. The only person you can change is you and how you react. 

13. Practice being transparent and authentic. 

14. Know who you are and what you really want. 

15. Set healthy limits and boundaries for yourself and others. 

16. Speak calmly and rationally to yourself and others. 

17. You have the right to have your own opinion. 

18. Be willing and ready to stand your ground without disrespecting others. 

19. Give sincere compliments often. 

20. Say, thank you, when others help you. 

21. Show others that you appreciate them. 

22. Smile at everyone you pass. 

23. Learn to do something new. 

24. Schedule special fun-time each day, week, month, and/or year. 

25. If something is out of your control, work towards a goal that’s unrelated. 

26. Keep things in a realistic perspective. 

27. Logically, evaluate the probabilities of “it” happening. 

28. Do something nice for or with a friend. 

29. Journal about your fears and create a plan of action. 

30. Recite positive affirmations or mantras. 

 PLEASE FEEL FREE TO CONTACT ME 

Please contact Kimberley if you have any questions or to make an initial CONSULTATION.  
 
Face To Face  sessions are by appointment only. Appointments are available 6 days a week and also in the evenings at our discreet premises in Mellieha, Sliema & Naxxar in Malta. Or online by skype or Zoom 

Please note for sessions in Naxxar clients have access to the pool and a towel after and before their sessions. 
For a list of problems I may be able to help you with please click here 
 
To Arrange YOUR INITIAL SESSION Please contact Kimberley by Whatsapp or Phone on 00356 99355901.

Kimberley on TVM - FitAM

Develop Powerful Unconscious Drive to Reach Your Goals

How to use hypnotherapy to make sure you achieve the goals you set yourself

How often have you set a new goal and felt 'this is the one!', only to look back a few weeks or months later and wonder where all that motivation went?

It's exciting when you first decide to pursue a new goal. But the excitement can soon fade as the hard work of pursuing your goal kicks in.

Of course we all know that nothing worthwhile comes without work, but somehow the initial compulsion to achieve a goal can be incredibly hard to recapture once the initial glow has faded.

It's the tortoise that wins the race

We live in an 'instant world'. Instant emails, text messages, food and instant fame and fortune - or so it seems when we don't see the hard work that got celebrities where they are today.

We worship speed, instant solutions, fast track lives but the people who really make it big are the ones who can see through all that. They know that dogged determination, even when it feels thankless, is the way to goal success and ambition fulfilment.

Keep your passion burning

Maybe you've been wondering whether it's even right to follow your goal if it doesn't feel as exciting now. Maybe you've started making excuses to yourself in case you fail, or you can't really recall why you were so excited in the first place.

Well hang on a moment! Remember you had good reasons to follow your goals at the time and you need to recall those reasons not just logically but with your heart and your feelings.

Stay loyal to your goals even when it feels thankless and you will get the right reward at the right time.

Expecting to be 'paid' before the job is properly done (even if it's emotional 'payment') doesn't work. Your reward will come as a by-product of being able to work hard even when there is no instant reward. That will build something valuable in you and of course you'll gain the satisfaction and other rewards from actually achieving your goals.

How hypnotherapy can help you reach your goals

There's one thing you may be missing when you're wondering where all that motivation went.

The fact that it was there to start with.

And that's powerful resource that we can utilise with hypnosis.

Because at the time of perfect focus, motivation and drive, your entire mind/body was aligned to achieving that goal. You knew why you wanted to do it, why you should do it, and more importantly, you wanted to do it.

Your motivation was powerful enough to sweep away any obstacle in your path.

With hypnosis we can use 'revivification', which is a technique whereby you go back to that initial feeling and bring it into the present.

A Hypnotherapy session re-primes your unconscious mind with that determination, so you recharge your motivation battery to get you driving towards your goal again.

If you feel that a Hypnotherapy session would help you in achieving your Goals then

Please contact Me. If you have any questions or to make an initial CONSULTATION. 

Face To Face  sessions are by appointment only. Appointments are available 6 days a week and also in the evenings at our discreet premises in Mellieha, Sliema & Naxxar in Malta. Or online by skype or Zoom

Please note for sessions in Naxxar clients have access to the pool and a towel after and before their sessions.
For a list of problems I may be able to help you with please click here

To Arrange YOUR INITIAL SESSION Please contact Kimberley by Whatsapp or Phone on 00356 99355901.

Don't give up on your resolutions 2020

Before You Give Up On Your 2020 Goals, Do This

I encourage you to take some time to consider the goals you’ve set for yourself in the past but have never achieved.

Ask yourself: WHY haven’t you achieved those goals? What has stopped you?

… And what steps can you take to ensure those same obstacles don’t stop you from achieving your goals in 2020?

Chances are the biggest obstacles are the ones that exist inside your own head.

I’m talking about the subconscious blocks that prevent you from showing up as your best self and getting the results you want in life.

You might not even be aware of these blocks – yet they negatively impact everything you think, do, and experience! If you’re ready to dissolve those blocks once and for all, join me for my powerful FREE training this month.

During BREAK FREE WITH Kimberley, I will take you through a process that will help you eliminate those blocks for good. Our first session is Monday, January 27th – and I would love to see you there!

If you like to attend this live facebook event just keep an eye on our facebook page

https://www.facebook.com/holistichealthandwellnessacademy

Or if you’d like some in person about any goals you may have before then please call 00356 99355901 or for a free chat